The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord who counsels me even at night my heart instructs me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, my tongue rejoices, my body also will rest secure, because You, O Lord, will not abandon me.
Those are the words I have read recently from the Bible – different versions – to try to get those words from Holy Scripture through my head and into my heart!
I always seem to have the opportunity to live out or to test the scriptures that I have been studying. Even today, the first day of 2014. Early morning, my husband informs me that he is no longer employed with company he has been with for 14 years. Does my tongue rejoice? Does my body rest? Am I shaken? Do I have a delightful inheritance? Is God at my right hand?
Questions! Fears! Uncertainty! Blank! Empty! All are the emotions I feel!
Not many months ago, a Minister friend/relative told me that ‘he was tired of hearing of my losses.’ WOW! Slap!
I suppose that would be the feeling of someone who hasn’t experience the loss of their only child, their sister, their parents, furnishings that rolled down a Georgia freeway during a move across country to answer a call to a new church. How could they know the pain? How could they possibly understand what loss is all about? How could they know that God has given me a message through these wounds…the making of Perfume?
But today. In this economy. At this time in my life. Another loss? Yes, it is hard to see my husband weep. It is hard to understand when he is a man of integrity, gracious, kind, giving, sacrficial giving! Nothing was done wrong! Could it just be his age? Wisdom of the older generation isn’t needed anymore?
How am I handling this? I can’t tell you now. I’ve got to process! I have to decide to open this vessel (this perfume flask) and let in the bitter to set for awhile until it becomes sweet…a sweet smelling aroma! Will I? Can I?